“There are many things in your heart you can never tell to another person. They are you, your private joys and sorrows, and you can never tell them. You cheapen yourself, the inside of yourself, when you tell them.” -- Greta Garbo

Monday, April 27, 2009


Okay. I weighed in at 106.5 this morning. Didn't expect to be back down to that, but I'm relieved anyway.

But I felt guilty that I was so relieved just because the scale told me I hadn't gained. I still ate terribly this weeked, no matter what that sneaky bitch wants to say. So I started thinking about why I was freaking so much and letting myself go this weekend, and I believe it's because I lost control. I was no longer the chief preparer of what I ate, so I totally blew an emotional gasket, which also caused me to eat more. Usually, I make my food or I eat alone, so I can control what I eat. Over the weekend, I had to eat in front of other people and keep up appearances. Not that I've never done that, but at my mom's we usually don't ever eat together because she works late. So I need to refine my eating-in-front-of-others-jujitsu.

Omg, anas are totes ninjas. Lyk, for reals, yo. We be concealing our foodz lyk magics an' be slicin' up those fatty-fat thighs and bums w/ our katanas of RESTRICTION.

Okay. Enough silliness. I'm completely stoked to get down to business now. I'm doing the 2468 thing again, but as a 3579 cycle. I did the 2 before on a weekend, so I was fine, but I don't think I can last through school with only 200. Also, I'm going to work out more. I'm getting skinnyfat. My clavicle, ribs, and spine are pretty prominent, but my stomach is a little flabby and my thighs are still very flabby. So, exercise bike, prepare yourself! I'mma gunna pull a freakin' John Wayne on you!

Chanel! Man, if I had a ton of money to blow, I would totally do it if the ton of money would buy me lots and lots of Chanel. (there's a joke there. It's really SUBTLE. Hurr.)

I loved the SS09 campaign with Heidi Mount. I have this pic on my wall.

Back of Karl Lagerfield's head. Karl's pretty thinspirational himself. He used to be quite pudgy. I'm toying with the idea of getting his diet book, because I've heard that he's quite frank in it. Like, buy less food and more fabulous clothes! But meaner. >:K

Reverse thinspo for skinny-love, <3.


skinny love said...

Only .2 until your lowest weight! Hurrah!

The food that is served at my job is indeed very high in fat, calories, sodium, and cholesterol. Typical factory/wholesale products. bleh. Whenever I work I usually try to eat ONLY from the fruit & salad bar.

If I lived in Afghanistan, I wouldn't have to worry about the nutritional value of the food. Everything there is organic (like, cow patty organic), and there are no such things as high-fructose corn syrup, mechanically separated chicken, or enriched wheat product and all that crap.
And you're always running around outside, in the mountains, and just burning off EVERYTHING you eat. It's a health-nut's paradise.

Thanks; I really loathe purging, and I know it has horrendous effects...that's why I only do it occasionally. Although I shouldn't even need to do it at all...if I controlled myself.
And I take pride in my nice set of teeth. They aren't exactly pearly white anymore, though.

Thank you also for that RT (reverse thinspo)! It's so....I don't even have words to describe pictures of obese people.

I'm excited for the moment when you pass your lowest weight!

LoveMeDead said...

good luck passing your lowest weight!
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww...the rt was gross
i feel like that some days...

PrettyWreck said...

"Omg, anas are totes ninjas. Lyk, for reals, yo. We be concealing our foodz lyk magics an' be slicin' up those fatty-fat thighs and bums w/ our katanas of RESTRICTION."



Now I have the urge to flounce around my office at work going "HYAH! FOOWAAHHHH YAH!" and karate chopping the air.

Thanks for that XD

GOOD LUCK with your 2468 diet! I think doing the 3579 is good, too, especially for school, because...I get too light headed when I have less than 400 a day and have to go through school D:!