No weight change.
That doesn't make me anxious, because at least I'm not gaining, but I'm stressing a little about other things. For graduation, my mom mentioned wanting to go to Ruth's Chris (a really nice and expensive steakhouse) after the ceremony. I'm worried that I'll get there and won't find anything that's safe to eat or if I do I'll only eat a little bit which will come off as ungrateful (a meal for one person there is like $30 and upwards). And what if they get dessert (oh god)? Last time I went I had the swordfish, so there'll probably be something that's fine. I'm also worried about my senior class banquet; I have absolutely no clue what they'll be serving and I don't want everyone at my table to notice me eating only three bites or something. Ugghh. I'll just have to do well for these next couple of weeks to be able to "afford" those two meals.
I'm also worried about my family's plans for the after-graduation dinner. My mom wants to have dinner with her boyfriend and my father's family (the step-mother, step-siblings, grandparents, etc.), but the very idea horrifies me. My mother and father never talk to each other, and it would just be too much drama. I don't even want my mom's boyfriend to go to my graduation. I absolutely despise him. Absolutely. He's the reason I'm going to go live with my dad this summer. Ugh. And my brother will be coming to my graduation. He's the reason why I'm a perfectionist and cannot allow myself to fail, ever. Because his life is one huge failure.
I also had a major pity-party looking at my body in the mirror today. Ugh. I don't even want to start. And I've been lapsing back into my skin-picking. I'm trying to stop, and I tell myself that what I'm doing is screwing my face up, but I just keep going at it. And, not to brag, but I would have really really nice skin if I would leave it alone! B/c I'm half-asian and neither my father or my mother really ever had bad skin problems.
End of venting. Well. I've been exercising. Spent half an hour on the exercise bike and have been doing crunches, lunges, squats, and leg lifts lately.
1 Special K bar
other half of the turkey sandwhich from yesterday
1 dried fig
1 Mini Babybel Light
9 mini cheddar rice cakes