“There are many things in your heart you can never tell to another person. They are you, your private joys and sorrows, and you can never tell them. You cheapen yourself, the inside of yourself, when you tell them.” -- Greta Garbo

Thursday, April 23, 2009



Mixed feelings about today. Back up to 107, but that's not a drastic gain. Did well for breakfast, didn't eat lunch b/c I didn't have time, but then BAM. My mom wants to go out for dinner. She wanted to go have hibachi, and I didn't want to say no because I think she's getting suspicious. So I order the shrimp with every intention of only eating a couple of shrimp, some of the zuchinni, carrots, broccoli, and mushrooms. And I end up eating ALL of the shrimp, zuchinni, carrots, broccoli, and mushrooms. I even eat half of my mom's carrots AND several bites of rice AND some of the shrimp sauce. Ugh, I felt awful and bloated after eating all of that. I still feel terrible. I tried to calculate everthing (I had to guess a lot, because I lost count after a while, which is terrible) and it came to 572 cals. That's including breakfast, which was 222. I don't think that right, because it feels like I ate a million pounds of food.

But. I'm not going to let it get me down. Because of these things:
1. The jeans I could barely squeeze into a few months ago are now a little loose on me, and my regular jeans are baggy.
2. The other day in the shower, I could feel my spine.
3. My clavicle is pretty prominent.
4. Best of all, there's a gap between my thighs!

Typing those things make me feel a lot better. Anyone else feeling crappy should try it, too.

Lately, I've started a food stash. Granola, ceral bars, potato chips, rice cakes. I don't even eat anything but the cereal bars and the rice cakes, but I don't want anyone else to eat the others. So I keep them hidden. Irrational, much?

Does anyone visit This is Why You're Thin! or This is Why You're Fat (click at your peril). The fat one is full of the most disgusting food combinations - a lot of hamburger, cheese, hotdogs, frying, etc, etc. Totally kills my appetite. But there might be stuff there that could trigger other people's appetites, so click at your peril! The thin one has the complete opposite. Lots of healthy, veggie-licious foods that are almost pornographic. Num.

1 comment:

PrettyWreck said...

I'll have to check those out, but you know, the calorie in take thing could be more right than wrong, and if so, that's not too bad of a number. It just seems like our bodies hate us and decide to NOT go down when we want D:

Aw, and bb, boobs are boobs. If they're there they'll be liked by anyone who likes boobs. I have never met a discriminating man or lesbian.

I would type more, but now I need to go look at Veggie porn! ♥