“There are many things in your heart you can never tell to another person. They are you, your private joys and sorrows, and you can never tell them. You cheapen yourself, the inside of yourself, when you tell them.” -- Greta Garbo

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I guess I was wrong.



I did, in fact, need you, oreos. 13. 13! I'm so ashamed. All spread out through the day. And that's not all. Today was a major carb binge day. Approx. 1560 cals.

I worked out like crazy, though. Lunges, squatz, leg lifts, crunches, and an hour and a half on the exercise bike. So that, including my "lifestyle," still gave me a calorie deficit of 1715 (according to FitDay, the website I use for calorie counting and weight tracking). But I'm sure my BMR is so screwed now that the deficit is much lower. Argh...

I read an article earlier that said that women who eat less than 1200 calories a day can slow down their metabolisms up to 45%. 45! And, according to various calculators and things that I've done, I should be eating about 1500-1200 calories a day. But I usually stay within the 300-1000 range, with the occasional day like today with 1500-1700.

Ugh. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to start a juice fast and another part of me wants to eat "normally" for a few days to boost my metabolism. But. Next week I have important meals to think about. My senior banquet, my lunch before graduation, and the dinner after graduation. I'm afraid that if I start eating "normally" for a few days, and then have those meals at the end, I'll completely loose control.

I think this is what I'll do: "fast" as much as I can. I.e. skip as many meals as possible, but if there's an occasion when I can't avoid it, I won't sweat it if I have to eat the fish or the chicken or w/e. I'm not going to sacrifice those special meals. The formalized meal is a special ritual that humans are intrinsically attatched to. We celebrate with meals, we mourn with meals, we express love with meals. Knowing the right time to indulge with a meal is key, though. Anyway, after graduation, I'll eat "normally" for 2-3 days for a metabolism boost, then go from there.

Dear self: you want to be fabulous in your banquet dress and your graduation dress. You also will NOT eat any more oreos.

5 comments:

PrettyWreck said...

If you must eat, remember--good girls dont' swallow. When we have reeses in the house (my only weakness) I'll take about four for or five, a bottle of water, and a cup. Chew, swish, spit. I get the taste, but not all of the fat, though I'm sure there's some calories to it.

That, or just pour bleach on the oreos. Then you can't eat them! D:!

I think...if you change calories a lot (300 one day, 800 the next, sort of thing) you keep your metabolism bouncing around. But it does slow down eventually to accomodate it, which is why "refeeding" is such a slow process, and you need to expect to gain back weight and actually pick up on your exercise when you're "weening" off the diet. At least until your body regulates out a bit and your metabolism gets back to normal. It's terrifying though, isn't it?

PrettyWreck said...

BTW, on fit day, do you use the Miffin Equation or the Harris-Benedict to calculate your Baseline Metabolism?

girl 500 said...

I'm sorry :(

oreos are evil. It's not just the calories, they are innately evil on many many many levels. It is best if you can avoid coming into contact with that form of evilness at all if you can. Yes, I realise that some people like proving to themselves how strong they are to resist something that is there already, but I think well, if they aren't there then they can't exert their evil influence over you!
:)

good luck, hope you're doing well now.

Lyla Unleashed said...

hey M, i feel for you with the oreos. i know you can be strong. you can totally do this! and you will look fab in your grad dress.

have you ever tried The Master Cleanse? if not, look it up, its pretty great.

i use fitday as well (it soooo helps keep me motivated and on track). the thing that freaks me out the most is how as you lose weight, the number of calories you burn goes down with the same amount of activity, so you have to actually eat less and do more activity to keep the burn going, and then there is the issue of slowing metabolism, it's the scariest thing! i try to let myself have one day a week where i eat over 1000 cals just to give myself a metabolic boost. as hard as it is to do, it seems to work, and i make a point of doing it around friends (they see me eat, think i'm normal). last night i had french fries and i wanted to kill myself... but i know it will see me through the rest of the weekend.

good luck deary, you deserve to be thin! f*ck those oreos!

MissBrightside said...

omg i have the same problem i always try to keep it under 500ish but sometimes I wonder if I should take like a day a week and eat 'normally' to keep my metabolism guessing? or even have like a 'binge' day and just eat whatever???